Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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