Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
