So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize