she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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