it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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