pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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