I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
