Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I need to stop coming to work sober
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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