She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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