What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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