Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
