Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
