just come out here and I will go home with you...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
