What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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