guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
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some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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