I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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