Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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