I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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