and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize