Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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