But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
