How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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