Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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