I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
