its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
