hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just tell him i said nine months
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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