I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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