you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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