How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
