yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
