shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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