He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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