i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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