There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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