help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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