you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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