it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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