GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
