I'm so fucking centered right now
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
