For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
