I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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