I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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