I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
