i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
