think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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