$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
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Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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