we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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