The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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