this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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