Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
