I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
