Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
did i just pee glitter
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
