Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i will never coherently bang her
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Sext me about skeletons
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize