I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Congratulations! We have a period
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
