she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
