i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
